What Is Deschooling And Why Is It Important For Homeschooling?

When you pull your child out of school and start researching homeschooling, you might stumble across the word deschooling. Many times, this is one of the many homeschool terms that floods in from online homeschool groups whenever someone asks for advice getting started. But what is deschooling? And why should you do it? 

The Definition of Deschooling

Originally the term deschooling was presented by a man named Ivan Illich in a book he published in the early 1970s about how the school system needed to be taken apart and rebuilt. He felt there were many things wrong with the way that education was handled. 

The term grew, especially by another author/educator named John Holt, who was a big advocate for homeschooling – especially self-directed learning. 

Today, the word is mostly used in reference to breaking free from the confines and mindset of a formal school setting and experience. 

In fact, dictionaries tend to define it as:

“to abolish or phase out traditional schools from, so as to replace them with alternative methods and forms of education”

Each of us, whether our children have been in the school system or not, have some sort of preconceived idea of what education should be, feel, and look like. If our children have experience in that setting, they have expectations of what education is going to be like. 

Deschooling is the process of removing our expectations of what education is and discovering that learning is so much more. 

Deschooling vs. Unschooling

There are times when the word deschooling and unschooling seem almost interchangeable. In truth, they are related however they are not exactly the same thing. While deschooling is the act of breaking out of the school mold to discover learning, unschooling is the method of continuing that through self-directed, life learning. 

Deschooling is a relatively short period of time where you focus on things other than formal academics so that you can adjust to the homeschooling lifestyle.

Unschooling is a homeschool method where children learn through their natural interests and curiosities. 

You don’t have to choose unschooling if you deschool – but you can if you want to. It’s totally up to you. 

How Long Should You Deschool?

First, let me clarify that deschooling is not a requirement for homeschooling. But it is a good and important step to your success with it.

You will likely hear a recommendation to deschool for at least one month for every year your child has been part of the school system. So, for example, if they are in 2nd grade – two months, and if they are in 8th grade, then eight. This is just a general guideline. 

Ideally, you want to use the time to allow your child to process their experience within the school system. If you are pulling them out over any specific trauma or challenge, there might be more time needed than others. You want them to love learning again and to have that curiosity spark reignited so that they can learn. 

How Do You Know You Are Ready To Move On? 

This is a challenging question because it depends a little on your child and a little on you and it’s completely a personalized situation. 

Some suggestions are to watch for clues related to how interested your child is for things that once would have had to include an educational component or that they would consider “school.” For example, if they balk at anything they deem educational, they probably aren’t ready to move on to start a more formal education yet. However, if they are genuinely excited to try things – maybe they are. 

Some questions that maybe can help you consider if your child is ready to move on: 

• Would they go to a museum and enjoy it- just because it’s fun, not because they expect to learn anything? 
• Would they watch a documentary out of curiosity? 
• Do they see themselves as capable or as “stupid” in some area? 
• When you have conversations about what learning is like, do they only consider the school model experience the only way or can they see what they have learned from other activities and experiences? 

Again, these are just some vague thoughts. The truth is that *you* will likely be itching to start schooling sooner than your children will because you have some deschooling to do for yourself. 

Why You (the Parent) Need to Deschool Yourself Too.

Even as a parent who has homeschooled my children since day one, my own experiences with school set me with some pretty strong expectations of what learning and education should be like. Things that molded and shaped our lives tend to have that kind of deep impact. I found that I was getting frustrated because my kids weren’t learning how I thought they should. 

It wasn’t until I realized that I needed to take some time and look at what my kids were learning even without the forced educational time that I could really approach our homeschooling experience with an open mind and willingness to change and be flexible. 

You need to deschool yourself. 

It’s so incredibly tempting to replicate the experience of a classroom at home: desks, posters on the wall, textbooks and workbooks, timed full-day schedules, assignments and grades…. Because that’s what we’re comfortable with. What we are used to. What we have been conditioned to consider as educational success. 

But if we can manage to break out of that mindset and realize that learning is so much more, . that homeschooling can give us a whole lifestyle of education instead of just the time between 9 and 3, we will love it so much more. 

Take the time while your kids are deschooling to deschool yourself. Observe your child and see what they are learning in their day. What are their natural curiosities? How are they filling their time? Can you join them in things that you might not have otherwise? (Yes, that might mean you need to try your hand at Minecraft. Just be careful not to click the destroy button too many times in a row or you might break their house. Trust me. They aren’t very happy when you do that.) Even if it’s not something you can do alongside them, you can still sit with them and watch or cheer them on. 

See the value in how they use their time and don’t fall into the temptation of needing to turn everything into something educational or test them on what they’ve learned. Let learning just sit there. Invite conversations

Take the time to deepen the relationship between you and your child so that you build trust, empathy, and curiosity together. That will be the biggest anchor in the days that follow.

Try to break out of the mindset of what education needs to be. It’s going to be so much harder for you than for your kids. 

How Do You Deschool?

Think about summer holidays. What do you do with your time? What do your kids do with their time? 

Playing games – whether video games or board games? Movie nights? Trips to the park, to the beach, to the zoo – places you don’t usually go because school takes up so much time of the day? Visit friends and family members? Travelling? Spending time at the trailer or cottage if you have one? Going camping? Roasting marshmallows? Time outside hiking, playing, riding bikes, or just chilling by the pool? Lost in a good book? Crafts? Camps and clubs? Spending all your money at the corner store on snacks? Boredom? Freetime? All of the above.

Summer is exactly what deschooling looks like. It’s intentionally not school because it’s a break from schooling. That time tends to be more about freedom and fun. Keep that exact thing going. 

I should be clear though. Summer does NOT count as part of your deschooling period. Why? Because it’s something that your child already expects. It’s not a change in educational mindset. It’s exactly what the school system has in place. Doing summer-like activities when everyone else is back to school is the whole point. It is the break and change that deschooling needs. 

Here are some ideas of what you can do during your deschooling period: 

• Nothing. Do nothing. It might take a while for your child to adapt to boredom, but after a while they will probably start finding things to fill their time.
• Watch TV shows and documentaries. (Don’t try to make it all educational – although I bet some of the stuff they are willing to watch might be.) 
• Visit the tourist places in your area – including the art galleries, zoos, science centres, and museums that will be pretty quiet since school is in session. 
• Go for walks. Try geocaching. Go birdwatching. Make mudpies. Explore a creek. Discover nature.
• Read – whether together as read-alouds or just quietly by yourselves.
• Play games together. 
• Do art or crafts.
• Bake and cook. 
• Lay on the floor, close your eyes and listen to classical music (or different genres of music.)
• Get some subscription activity boxes.

At first, it might be a little overwhelming to think about what exactly you are going to do to fill up the day. If you need some guidance, you can start by theming your days like this:

(These are just examples. You can totally do your own ideas!) 

You can plan your day with a general routine. Try to avoid creating a detailed time-based schedule for the whole day. A natural flow and rhythm is best. 

When You Feel Ready to Move On…

If things have been going great and you think you are ready to take the step forward back into more formal learning, start slowly. Don’t jump back into the very thing that you were trying to break out of. Homeschooling is a whole life experience. It’s not a race nor a series of checkboxes to reach a specific goal. It’s about creating an environment where you child loves to learn – even if it’s not how you originally thought that should look like. 

Start adding one thing at a time. Take breathers. Be willing to adapt and change on the fly. Use a variety of tools and approaches. See how it goes and then add in another thing and another as needed. 

Deschooling might be exactly what you needed to avoid the dreaded crash that tends to follow the honeymoon period. It’s a wonderful time to grow a relationship with your children, to learn how to question the things you believe, and to make this homeschooling adventure wonderful.